10. Practice Dummy (Spike needs to keep in shape!)

9. Buckingham palace guard (no facial expressions needed!)

8. Lawn ornament (the type that’s in front of the pink flamingos but behind the lawn gnomes.)

7. Professional cowboy. (Can I carry those milk buckets for ya ma’am?)

6. Britney Spears groupie (Hey, she’s blonde, she’s short, and she’s easier than Buffy. She probably has fangs too!)

5. Body no. 1, 2, or 3 from a cheap indie hacker flick. (Or just a dead body anywhere… *EG*)

4. Rebound guy. (Oh…wait… *EG*)

3. My size Ken doll. (Complete with cheesy plastic smile and rigid, bendable, pose able, action!)

2. Gay poster boy (C’mon, with those looks of course he’d make it!)

1. Midnight snack (if Spike or Angel actually EVER DO get that hungry…)