Feeling Words
by Torra

E-Mail: lost_angels@buffymail.com
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Yah, that's right...I own 'em! I own 'em *all*!
Archiving: Anywhere! Just E-mail me and let me know it's going to a good home!

"I always placed too much blame on my father."

"Oh god, not again…" Kate sighed.

"Ah'Meen, it wasn't ALL his fault! My mother was just too ashamed of her past, and so she held all her emotions inside! To tell me the truth would be like admitting she had made a mistake, and she just had not emotionally matured enough to do that."

"And how did that make you feel?" Cordelia asked, sitting down next to Doyle.

"I feel…hurt!" He finally announced, "Why wasn't I good enough? Was there some way I could have been a better son?"

"No, it's not your fault. You're transferring your childhood trauma's onto your mother." Cordelia put her arm around Doyle's shoulders, "She was ashamed of herself, not of you. She just expressed her anger though you. It's not your fault."

Doyle sniffed back tears and nodded.

"I blame my mother too." Cordelia confided.

"Really?" Doyle looked up at her with tearful eyes.

"Uh-Huh. She was like, always sick and didn’t spend enough time with me as a child, so I'd take out my pain on shopping. But it's not her fault she had Epstein Barr…even if it was *so* passé'! It wasn't her fault."

"It wasn't your fault either!" Doyle insisted.

Cordelia tried to give him a smile, "But I could have spent more time thinking about HER feelings. Instead I was just too wrapped up in my own."

"You can't be blamed for you're mother's troubles."

"Uh…guys? We kinda need ta get outta here…" Kate tried to interrupt their bonding moment to bring their attention back to the matter at hand. Instead, it just drew their attention to her.

"Oh, Kate! I'm so sorry! We're neglecting *your* feelings! Come …share with us!" Cordelia got up to stand beside Kate.

"I…uh…" Kate stammered, caught off guard.

"Yah, don’t be afraid of what you feel, Kate." Doyle encouraged.

"Look, this isn't about me right now. This is--"

"It's *always* about Angel!" Cordelia suddenly snapped. Doyle went to stand beside her as she went on. "Ever since I came to LA, it's always Angel, Angel, Angel! He's so masochistic! His withheld anger makes me feel so unappreciated!"

"Let it out, Princess…just let it out." Doyle rubbed her shoulder.

"He never expresses any joy at my accomplishments! Do I make him proud? I don’t know, he never says!"

"Of course he's proud of you, Princess! I know I am. And look at how much you've grown as a person since you've come here…!"

"I have?" She asked, her lower lip quivering.

"Very much. You've learned to express your emotions without belittling those of others. And you have become more appreciative of how those around you feel. You take care of us…Angel and I both. And we're both *very* proud of you!" Doyle gushed.

"Oh…Doyle!" Cordelia was now openly crying.


"Hugs!" she agreed as the two embraced.

"I'm so sorry for not showing you how much I care." Doyle confessed. "I love you, man!"

"Oh, Doyle! I love you too! I do care and cherish our friendship."

Kate sighed and sat back heavily in the chare behind Angels desk. Noticing her movement, the overly emotional pair turned to look at her, still in their embrace.

"Kate? Use feeling words…" Doyle encouraged.

Kate blinked, "I'm feeling…angry."

"GOOD!" Cordelia smiled, untangling herself from Doyle, coming to stand by Kate again, "That's a good word!"

Kate nodded, "When Angel gets back, I'm going to *share* with him exactly how Angry I am. He had no right to--!"

"Ah-ah-ah! Don’t place your own views of right and wrong on anther person, Kate. They can not be judged by your moral standards…" Cordelia corrected.

Kate took an angry breath, "I *FEEL* that he had no right to leave me with the two of you while your…your…LIKE THIS!" she snapped, "It makes me *FEEL* cheated. Just because he's all big and bad and scary does not give him the right to treat me as if I have no value! I feel that I *Deserve* to kick that counselor's ass too!"

Doyle and Cordelia smiled at each other and then wrapped Kate in a hug from each side. Kate sat very still and gritted her teeth.

"Oh yes, I am going to show him *exactly* how angry I am."

"See!" Doyle smiled, "Aren’t feeling words great?"


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