Just So
by Torra

E-Mail: lost_angels@buffymail.com
Disclaimer: Look, I don't own 'em, you don't own 'em, and non of our friends own 'em. Any Questions?
Summary: Doyle trys to define what makes Cordelia Just So perfect.
Archiving: It is curently safe 'n cozy with my other Angel fics at it's Torra's Other Angel Stuff (http://jove.prohosting.com/~Torra/other/) and you are all welcome to come 'n visate them! And if you'd like a copy to keep in YOUR own home, just let me know where it is so I know where to send the house warming gifts. ;-)
Rating: a nice 'n fluffy G

"I just…I just CAN'T, Man! I mean...look at her! She's so...I mean...God. 'N then take'a look at me. I mean..." Doyle flung his arms out to the sides "Well…LOOK at me, man! I'm a nuth'un!"

Angel shook his head sadly, "You're not a nothing, Doyle. You're just…you."

Doyle nodded emphatically, "Yah, 'n that's exactly me problem! I'm me 'n there she is 'n she's her 'n she's just *all* her, but I'm still me, 'n I don't…"

Angel held up a hand and closed his eyes hard, giving up on trying to understand what his friend had just said. "Doyle, there is nothing wrong with you being you. You are a great guy. And as for her…well…it's not like she'd be happy being anyone else." He shrugged. The glair Doyle gave him let him know that his humor was not helping much. Angel sighed again, "Doyle, you've just got to get over this whole 'I am not worthy' bit and *TELL* her how you feel. It's that simple."

Doyle rolled his eyes, "Oh, and it was *SO* easy for you to admit your feelings to the Slayer, was it?" he snapped.

Angel crosses his arms, "Doyle…"

Doyle held up his hands, "Okay, okay, low blow, 'ah know. I just cann'ah help it man! I mean…" he sighed again.

Angel sat back in his chair, trying to make up his mind. Cordelia had just come into the office, her presence a warm, familiar pressure in his mind. However Doyle, with his non-vampiric senses, would not be aware of her yet. Inside his own mind, Angel debated over to do now; should he alert Doyle and change the subject…or…

Angel decided to take the chance, "Tell me about Cordelia."


Angel nodded and motioned with one hand, "Tell me about Cordelia. Tell me everything. Describe her to me."

Doyle looked confused, "Is this som'sorta trick?"

Angel shook his head, "No trick. Just tell."

Doyle nodded and flopped back into the leather couch, "Well…Cordelia Chase. She's…young, smart, funny, honest…beautiful. VERY Beautiful." Doyle paused and waited for Angel to nod before going on, "She has this beauty…it's not just physical, man, it's…it's everything. It's in her smile; it's in her every movement. She's beautiful when she's trying really hard ta type som'm up for ya. She's beautiful when she's yell'n at me for be'n a bum. She's beautiful when she's helping someone she doesn't know. She's beautiful even when she's a mess after fight'n off the minion's a evil 'n all that. She's just…it's som'm inside her, man, it just…lights up whenever she does *anything*.

"She's smart…but she doesn't let on about it a lot. She knows more 'bout how every'thin' in this world works 'n I do sometimes. She may not know all the details…but she understands it! She learns…incredibly fast," he smiled, "She makes her mistakes on the way, sure…not that she'll ever admit to 'em," He grinned, "But she makes 'em 'n she moves on. She doesn't let 'em hold 'er back at all! She just has a job, and does it…even when she doesn't want'ta."

Angel nodded, folding his hands in front of his chin to look serious. In truth he was only half listing to Doyle, the rest of his attention was focused on Cordelia who was standing just outside the inner office doors, hidden around the corner beside the coffee maker. He just hoped she didn't change her mind and leave before this was finished. He felt bad about manipulating them like this, but something inside him said it was the only way. If left to their own devices, he was sure neither would ever say anything to the other.

"When I first saw her, my first thought was just 'Gaw…how lucky can a bloke get to see someone like her at least once in his lifetime?' I mean, admittedly we were in a bit of a rush 'n I wasn't sure how much longer that lifetime was gunna last…but it was still there.

" 'N then she started work'n here, man! It was…I don' quite know what it was. But I liked it! She was smart, and she had talent, and she knew it. And she knew that everyone else in this world should know it too, and she wasn't gunna rest until she made SURE everyone else knew it." He grinned, "I love spar'n with her. Even when I'm pissed out drunk, she still jokes 'round wi'f me. 'N no matter how stupid som'm I say is, she'll smile. Roll her eyes too, but a smile's a smile.

"I love her smile. It just…it just lights up her whole face. The whole room! I mean, when I'm in me demon form, I can see pretty well in any level light--"

Angel froze as he felt Cordelia's shock, "Don't leave, don't leave, don't leave, Cordelia!" he ordered in his mind, "Just stay and listen…please, Cordelia, just keep listing." But Doyle went on, not sensing Angel's tenseness.

"--But when she smiles…who needs ta be half Brachen Demon? It c'un just light up every'thin', ya know? Like she's her own little star in the sky."

Doyle snorted and shook his head, "God, listen ta me. I sound like a bloody Hallmark card reject. Harry used ta always laugh when I'd go one like this. Said I just saw what I wanted 'ta see." She shrugged, "Maybe she's right. Maybe I do just see what I want ta see. Maybe Cordelia has all the faults in her, all these bits and pieces that everyone else sees…"

Angel felt Cordelia's heart speed up, and he could almost feel the tears pressing at her eyes.

"But you know what…I can't see 'em."

Cordelia's heart almost stopped.

"When I look at her…when I think about her, I can't see anything 'bout her that I don't luv', man! Every part of her is just so…HER! It all makes up this wonderful, amazi'n person. I mean, if we're gunna talk 'bout failings in a body, all I have 'ta do is look in a mirror, ya know? I certainly aint no prize at t'a county fair…" he sighed, "But Cordy…she's a princess stuck down here with us paupers. She deserves someone just as regal. Someone who can try ta be just as perfect." Doyle's voice sounded empty, alone.

"So you'd just let her go? Not say anything?" Angel asked, trying to draw Doyle out again.

Doyle looked up and Angel was surprised to see tears in his friend's eyes, "A course Ah'would! I'd hate it. I'd want ta kill anyone who so much as looked at her twice! God, it'd kill me to see her move on…" the first tear fell, "But how cun' a drunk, half demon pauper ask a princess ta love 'im?"

Angel forgot about Cordelia for a moment, his full attention on the man before him. Angel had known many things about his friend, he had know things about which he suspected Doyle himself did not know, but he had no idea how deep his feelings ran for Cordelia. He knew he liked her, sure, anyone could see that. And he thought by "letting" Cordelia listen would make HER see it too. But he hadn't realized how deep things went. Doyle felt far more for Cordelia Chase then *anyone* had seen.

"Maybe the pauper should just open his mouth and ask sometime."

Doyle and Angel both jumped up, their hearts (well, Doyle's heart) racing, "Cordelia!" they both exclaimed at once.

Cordelia, dressed for a date in a black sheath and shimmering black wrap, stood just inside the doorway, her hands clasped on her handbag in front of her.

"Cordy, how long have ya--"

"Long enough, I think." She cut him off.

Doyle's face fell, "Aw God, 'm sorry, Princess. I had no right ta…"

"To talk about me behind my back? To say all these things to Angel without even saying them to me first? Shah, damn *right* you didn't have a right to!"

On the outside it looked as though Doyle had simply closed his eyes, but centuries of practice in reading people allowed Angel to see how Doyle's who presence seemed to shrink inside himself, as if his whole world had just crumbled to dust around his feet.

Cordelia took a step forward and gently lay a hand against Doyle's cheek, "But that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to hear them…"

Doyle opened his eyes but didn't say anything.

"You know, a lady always likes to hear people say how beautiful she is…" she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his, "And you never know what the Princess might say if no one asks her in the first place."

"Cordy, I…"

Cordelia nodded, and smiled, the tears on her cheeks making her skin sparkle in the dim light, "I know, Doyle. I heard. You already said everything you needed to."

He stood up straighter, pulling out slightly, "Not everything, Princess." He told her, taking her free hand in both of his, "I still haven't said how much ah'love ya." Tears matching Cordelia's glittering in his eyes.

She smiled, "I think you just did."

Doyle couldn't help the cheeky grin, "Yah…guess Ah' did, huh?"

Cordelia leaned in close, "Uh-huh…and Doyle…" she paused to gently brush her lips against his, "The princess might always say yes…"

Angel softly crept backwards, using all his vampiric abilities to escape without interrupting him. He finally reached the elevator and stepped in. Not bothering to close the gate, he turned it on.

He didn't need to worry about disturbing them as they were too busy finding their lives in each other to notice anything else in the living world. As the elevator dropped out of sight, Angel smiled knowing that, at least for a moment, things were just as they supposed to be.


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